P&R Drabbles
by Pirate Hatter
Summary: Just drabbles and oneshots revolving around Pintel and Ragetti. Moog!
1. Converse

**Title: Converse**

**Words: 399**

**Rating: G**

* * *

"Pinters?"

"Eh?"

"Whot do ye suppose 'appened te all our mates from the _Black Pearl_?"

"Um…"

"Ah bets most of them escaped. Jist like we did."

"Well, Rags, we _did_ take the dog wit us."

"True but they 'ad Twigg they did. 'E was a right smart feller"

"Yeah 'e was. Wasn't 'e the one who figured how Jack's compass worked?"

"Ye mean before everyone knew?"

"Yeah. Ah remember 'im tellin' Koehler 'bout it."

"Di'in't know that. May Koehler rot in 'ell though. 'Long wit the Bo'Sun" ((spits))

"Jeezie Creezie, Rags. Di'n't know ye 'ated Koehler so much."

"Well, ah do… did… uhm…"

"But good riddance wit the Bo'Sun."

"Stupid blighter."

"Speakin' o' which, what 'appened te Bootstrap?"

"Remember? 'E's on Davy's ship and Turner was gonna stab Jones's 'eart te save 'im."

"Right. I guess this mess was our fault… collectively ah mean."

"Whot?"

"If we 'adn't a sent Bootstrap te the deps, we prol'ly woulda found the medallion soonah. Then we wouldn't a seen the Poppet, wouldn't a met Turner, and wouldn't a been captured by the British Navy."

"Real cause an' effect, Pinters. Ah don' think it's our fault. Even if it is, we're still back on the _Black Pearl_ and no' bein' 'unted by the Royal Navy……wait… Pinters ah jist remembered something."

"Whot?"

"Ye never got me tha' glass eye!" ((shoves))

"'Ey! It's no' like I ever 'ad the opportunity, Rags! When an' where could ah have possibly gotten ye that glass eye?" ((shoves back))

"Whot about in Tortuga, eh? There was plenty a nice places there!" ((shoves again but giggles))

"Well, ah forgot! It's not like ye reminded me or noffink!" ((tackles to ground))

"Ah, fine… ah forgives ye, Pinters." ((giggles))

"Good. Now about our mates…"

"Oi! Mallot and Grapple!"

"Whot about 'em?"

"They weren't part of the captured! Does tha' mean…?"

"Ah think it does Rags… Jacoby, too. Di'n't see 'im after we 'ad te row out in the dresses."

"Ah think ah 'eard Turner complementin' Poppet on somffink… like a bomb in 'is ribcage er somffink…"

"Di'in't 'ave a chance did they?"

"No… Ah'm so 'appy we got one Pinters." ((cuddles))

"Aye, me too Rags." ((hugs back))

"'Ere's te you, mates! May ye escape te freedom jist like us!" ((salutes))

"Aye. Jist like us."


	2. Oh My Love

**Title: Oh My Love**

**Words: 332**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: Pintel comforts Ragetti in jail**

**Setting: Post-CotBP; Pre-DMC**

* * *

Pintel looked at Ragetti who was sitting in the corner of their cell. He watched as slow tears traced his unwashed features and as they fell one by one onto his faded red shirt. Ragetti was curled up into a ball, just staring at the floor.

It broke Pintel's heart to see him like that. He couldn't stand it; it tore him up inside. He watched as lightening from outside lit up the cell and showed Ragetti's face, near glowing.

A low rumble came soon after and they heard the rain pour remorsefully, as if the heavens pitied these two pirates. Ragetti hiccupped and choked down another sob. Pintel felt as if his heart had dropped into his stomach and was being burned by the acids.

In one motion, he grabbed his friend and pulled him close. Pintel nuzzled his face against the top of Ragetti's head. Ragetti's sobs continued as he forced them into Pintel's chest. Pintel held his close, right above his heart.

He stroked his head lovingly to calm the lankier pirate, his hands still stained from the blood of the fight so many nights ago. He hadn't been granted a wash since they ended up in the cell.

Pintel placed a feather light kiss on top of Ragetti's head. Ragetti continued to sob into the cloth of Pintel's jacket, hiccupping and gasping for breath.

Lightening flashed again and Ragetti clung harder onto Pintel. Thunder bellowed almost quietly as Pintel kissed Ragetti once more, on the lips this time. Tears continued to flow as Ragetti returned the kiss. It was so soft and loving, Ragetti felt completely enwrapped in this kiss. It brought him comfort that only Pintel could offer. Pintel broke the kiss and whispered so quietly into Ragetti's ear:

"Oh my love, please don't cry. I'll wash my bloody hands and we'll start a new life. I don't know much at all; I don't know wrong from right. All I know is that I love you tonight."


	3. Stupid Curse

**Title: Stupid Curse**

**Words: 367**

**Rating: R (just for saying fuck)**

**Summary: Ragetti pleads for mercy from the heathen gods.**

* * *

Stupid curse. Bloody, rotten, stupid, fucking curse! I don't… I- I don't want to be like this!! I want to feel! Anything… even pain… anything please. I want to be like everyone else. I want to itch, I want to burn, I want anything just please! I- I'll be good this time, I promise! I want to feel him again. I want to feel his soft, warm skin. I want to know when he hugs me tight. I would trade anything just to be able to feel him again. I want… I want him back. I want my life back. Please, I'm begging you! Lift this curse. I promise I'll be good. I'll pray and I'll stop murdering and lying and … I promise. I've learned, I swear! I want to feel the sun beating down on me. I want to feel when I get hurt. I want to feel the cool night air again. I want the spray of the sea. I want to live again! I want to taste my favourite foods again. I want to taste _him_ again. I miss his taste. It was like salt and sweat but it was so sweet at the same time. I want him back! I want anything back. Please! I- I promise that I've learned! I know what I did wrong. I just want to live again! I want to drink sweet, sweet wine again. I want to feel when I slip on the deck. I want to feel him again! I want him back! Please! I promise I'll be good! I swear!! Just… just please give him back to me. I miss him so much… I miss him so… so much. I want to hug him again. I want to taste his sweet kisses again. I want to love him again. I… want him back! Let me live again… What I would trade for even the tiniest feeling… I'd give it up just to hold him again. Please! Please have mercy!! I miss him so much… I miss living like I did… I want those experiences back. Anything please! I just want to be alive again… I miss him so much… I just want him back… 


	4. Ye Look Good

**Title: Ye look Good**

**Words: 342**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: Pintel is pissed off because he discovers he is losing his hair prematurely.**

* * *

"Ye look good, Pint. Really ye do." Ragetti reassured his shorter friend, who was staring into the mirror.

"The one damn thing I have te get from me dad! Premature hair loss! Do ye know whot that means?!" Pintel slammed his hand into his reflection. Ragetti stared absently at his enraged friend.

"Um… ye lose yer hair?" Ragetti guessed using context clues. He examined Pintel for a moment. Ragetti never really thought of his or anyone else's looks or appearance but it seemed to frustrating Pintel.

He was a fine looking man, in Ragetti's opinion. He had faded curly brown hair which was tied back away from his face. He sported a crisp new coat which he had recently gotten from a raid on a merchant ship. He was beginning to grow a fine brown beard, which accented his dull green eyes a bit more. Ragetti smiled.

"I think ye look great." He said in a matter-of-fact sort of tone. Pintel glared at him.

"Yer jist sayin' that te shut me up, ye sodding bilge rat! This is a bad thing if ye didn't notice, ye daft, bug eyed salamander!" Pintel was infuriated beyond belief. He was about to throw a punch to his best friend. Ragetti caught the fist in his hand and put it down a bit.

"Calm down, Pint. Ye look just fine and ye know it. Ye just want te complain 'bout somethink." Ragetti marked. Pintel's nostrils flared with irritation and his eyes flashed.

"Shut yer damn head, ye bloody git!! Who are ye te tell me whot te-" Ragetti grabbed the man and pulled him into a soft kiss. Pintel finally shut up for once in his life and accepted the kiss (out of pure astonishment, he'll say).

"I wouldn't be kissin' ye if I didn't think ye looked good. Now please shut up." Ragetti smiled and left the cabin. Pintel remained in the room in wide eyed amazement but turned back to the mirror.

"Bloody git…" He murmured as a small blush crept onto his face.


	5. Oranges

**Title: Oranges**

**Words: 360**

**Rating: PG (sexual innuendo!)**

**Summary: Barbossa decides the crew needs a pit-stop on the way to World's End**

* * *

Pintel didn't know why they were on that island. Barbossa had ordered the crew to stop there, and so they did. Something about rest or stretching his legs, Pintel wasn't sure. 

The island was quaint enough. A small forest with plants and trees he hadn't seen before but some that he recognized from various ports they had stopped at. One tree caught Pintel's attention. It was tall and had a very sour smell to it, but a good kind of sour. It smelled sweet, too. He automatically loved this tree.

Looking up as high as he could, Pintel saw small orange orbs clinging onto the tree. Curiosity took a hold of him and forced him to kick the tree to get at the orbs.

They fell, two at a time it seemed, and landing on the grass, each with a dull thud. Pintel selected two of them, one in each hand.

He saw Ragetti over by the shore, staring off into space again. Pintel waltzed over to him and held up one of the spheres for Ragetti's judgment.

"Ye like oranges?" Pintel asked as Ragetti took the fruit. Ragetti shrugged.

"Dunno. Never had 'em afore," Ragetti responded cluelessly. He tried to bite into the sold skin of the orange but stopped when Pintel laughed.

"Ye peel the skin away first, ye dingbat," Pintel shook his head with amusement. Ragetti followed Pintel's instruction and peeled the skin away, revealing the sweet flesh inside.

He took a cautious nibble at the orange, testing the taste. It tasted fine so far, a bit bitter but with a sweeter side to it. Ragetti smiled at this conclusion: it reminded him of Pintel.

Time pasted and they each ate their fair share in oranges, savoring the sour-sweet flavour. They boarded the _Empress_, ready to continue off to world's end. Ragetti got stopped by Pintel before either of them boarded the gangplank.

Pintel was grinning like a crocodile and Ragetti was suddenly curious why. Pintel leaned in slightly and inhaled deeply.

"Ye smell like oranges, Rags," Pintel sighed. Ragetti grinned toothfully.

"So do you,"

"I'm gonna enjoy this," Pintel growled playfully. Ragetti grinned even bigger.


	6. Aroused

**Title: Aroused**

**Words: 239**

**Rating: PG-13 (alcohol abused and mentions of drunken pirate sex)**

**Summary: Captain Jack gives Ragetti a "mysterious" drink.**

* * *

Ragetti giggled as the Black Pearl swayed beneath his feet. Something was wrong… he felt dizzy… he felt happy. Whatever had happened to him was all Cap'n Jack's fault anyway.

"Have some, lad!" He had said. Then he pushed that cloudy green bottle into his hands.

The drink had a spicy taste, whatever it was. It went down smoothly and quickly. Ragetti didn't know what was happening. The only thing he was truly aware of was the burning heat in his groin.

He staggered on the slippery deck of the Pearl, seeking out Pintel. It periodically took deep wigs from the mysterious bottle Jack had given him. Soon, too soon, it ran out. Ragetti pouted.

His mood brightened when he saw Pintel on the deck, mopping. Ragetti giggled and snorted. He ran as fast as he could (not very fast at all, in his inebriated state) to get to Pintel. Ragetti swung his arms around Pintel's generous tummy and directly over his crotch. Pintel froze.

"'Ey… Pinters… wassup? (hick!) Ye wanna do somethink? (hick!)" Ragetti slurred with rum thick in his voice. Pintel didn't respond.

Pintel sucked in a deep breath as Ragetti's hand found its way inside Pintel's pants. Suddenly, a certain part of Pintel jumped to life. Pintel couldn't resist.

In a swift move, Pintel grabbed Ragetti by the arm and quickly led him to their cabin, Ragetti giggling the entire way.

In was a good night.


	7. Exhausted

**Title: Exhausted**

**Words: 225**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: Pintel is worn out from a raid. He comes to his bed room to find a little surprise.**

* * *

It had been a long raid. Pintel was completely worn out. He had to fight so many men at one time, it seemed like he was fighting the entire world.

Well, the entire world minus Ragetti, at least.

Jack had guided them to the port near the middle of the night. The raid itself took less than a half hour but the fight that ensued seemed endless.

Pintel remembered to thank whatever god was at work for making sure he didn't run out of ammunition.

He stumbled his way down the steps of the Black Pearl, heading to Ragetti's and his cabin. Pintel's eyes drooped down every so often, but he snapped them back open within the same second.

He crashed into the door of the cabin, surprised to find two things: the fact that Ragetti's was already changed and asleep, and that he was sleeping on Pintel's bed.

Had the raid not continued until sunrise or much later, Pintel would have surely kicked Ragetti out of his cot. This time, however, Pintel just accepted the fact he was there.

Pintel climbed into the cramped bed with Ragetti, his eyes closing instantly. He managed to stay conscious enough to cuddle up with Ragetti and make himself comfortable. He then immediately fell into a deep sleep.

In his slumber, Pintel felt Ragetti grin against his chest.


	8. Lesson Learned

**Title: Lesson Learned**

**Words: 546**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: Mullroy and Murtogg need help becoming true pirates.**

* * *

Ragetti and Pintel were sitting against the mast of the Black Pearl, talking to the two newest "recruits", Mullroy and Murtogg. Murtogg was currently fidgeting with his hat, feeling extremely self-conscious about the whole endeavor. Mullroy was decidedly calmer, his arms crossed lazily over his chest and giving both pirates a half-lidded stare. 

"Yeh… yer really gonna help us?" Murtogg squeaked as he looked up at the lanky pirate parallel to himself. The pirate nodded with a lop-sided grin, while carving himself a new wooden eye.

"What's the catch?" Mullroy quirked an eyebrow to the stout and gruff pirate across from him, who was currently scowling.

"No catch, we jist figger ye newbies should be gettin' sum 'elp from somebodies an'-"

"That somebodies should be us!" Ragetti chirped before being whacked on the back of his head.

"No interrupting," Pintel growled absent mindedly. "You two need te talk like pirates if yer gonna be 'em," He continued, "And basically jist throw in a couple of 'arghs' and 'mateys' and even a few 'avasts' while yer at it. Proper grammar ain't worth noffink 'ere so drop everythin' ye knew bout it," Pintel nodded soundly.

Murtogg and Mullroy exchanged glances but continued to listen to what their 'mentors' had to say.

"Ye also need te look loik a pirate, too!" Ragetti chimed in, "Ye need te scowl all th' time, n' and 'ave yer sword out, n' snarl too! Loik this," Ragetti growled like the night he and Pintel captured Elizabeth, evoking a frightened yelp from Murtogg. Pintel laughed hoarsely as the smaller man cowered into Mullroy's jacket, shaking like a leaf.

"Think ye can 'member all that?" Pintel sneered. Mullroy nodded and stood himself up, also taking Murtogg with him. "Go get 'em then," Pintel nodded his head at the crew, who were all doing various things, including what looked like Liar's dice.

Mullroy straightened his jacket and huffed out his chest as he strutted over to the game with Murtogg by his side. The pirates looked up from their game at the oddly unfamiliar faces in front of them. Both former-marines took deep breaths and took an attack stance.

"Aye! Avast, ye landlubbers! We was a-wonderin' iffin' we could join yer game, ye sodding bilge rats! Argh!" Mullroy growled as he reached for his cutlass.

"Aye! Yo ho an' a bottle of rum! Pirates' life fer me an' shiver me timbers!" Murtogg nearly squeaked as he shot his pistol into the air, successfully knocking Jack the Monkey down from his perch.

There was a pregnant pause as all the pirates exchanged glances between one another and then hearty laughter exploded all over the ship. Mullroy and Murtogg both were very confused and both turned a lovely shade of beet-red. They quickly turned tail and ran back to their 'mentors' who were both doubling over in hysterics. Pintel clung onto the mast as he cried with laughter and Ragetti clutched his stomach to stop the burning of his mirth.

"OY!" Both ex-marines yelled as they felt their faces grow hot with embarrassment. Pintel wiped his eyes of the tears but continued to grin in amusement.

"First lesson, lads-" Pintel looked to the lankier pirate.

"Never trust a pirate!" Both he and Ragetti screamed above the howling mirth.


End file.
